Is being alone good or bad?

Woman Sitting on Wooden Planks

Myra is the only child of her parents. Her caring nature, obedience and her respect towards her parents was appreciated by all her relatives. 

Myra wanted her parents to be happy. Their happiness was all she needed, so she obediently followed what her parents said. But there was one department where Myra failed, she was single.

Myra’s parents wanted her to be married and settled. They didn’t care about what Myra wanted. They would pressurize her to find a boyfriend immediately. They wanted her to get married soon.

Her mother would scare her by saying that, “A single woman over the age of 23, is looked at, as if, there must be something wrong with her.”

Getting her married was the only thing in her parents’ minds. Her parents taunted her for being single and would make her feel bad and curse her for always being alone. 

Myra’s mother always pressurized her to be in a relationship.

The pressure of being single and alone haunted her subconsciously in Myra’s head.

Woman Looking at Sea While Sitting on Beach

Myra kept thinking that she may never get married and would have to live her whole life alone. The fear of being alone made her feel sad. 

The fear of being alone got so serious that she could not be normal, when, she was alone in the house. The fear of being alone was making Myra sick. 

Myra would not share her fears with anyone. With the pressure put up by her parents, she started imagining and living as if she is really lonely.

The aloneness was making her depressed and hopeless

One day, she got online and joined a few dating and matrimonial sites to find a partner.

In a few days, she met a guy called Scott. She was happy to finally find someone and without knowing the guy well she just jumped into the relationship.

The relationship was nice and rosy for a few months. They even started staying together in just 2 months of dating.

Her parents were happy but Myra didn’t realize that she was not happy. 

With time she realized that she could not stand some of his hurtful patterns. But she ignored it.

Whenever she would talk about her wishes and what was hurting her, Scott would start screaming. He would go crazy.

Side view of crop unrecognizable abuser hurting girlfriend during misunderstanding in relationship at home

He would drink and create a scene and leave the house. He would return home, at dawn.

He would bang the door, begging for her to take him in. There were all sorts of promises of change and Myra would melt.

No one would have put up with someone like Scott. But, her fear of being alone made her go through all pain. 

Myra felt unloved, but breaking up with Scott would bring out her fear of being lonely. 

She just could not stand to be alone. And so, her fear of being alone was so strong that she didn’t realize that she was in a bad relationship. She would rather be a part of a bad relationship than have no relationship at all.

Myra’s aloneness made her get tangled and unhappy in a relationship that was not going to last. 

Myra didn’t realize that she did not have to be in a relationship to feel complete and happy. 

She was afraid of aloneness and she had to deal with her own fears to be happy.

During this time, she had to attend a friend’s wedding. It was a destination wedding in Goa. She had to go alone as very few people were invited to the private wedding. And her friend wasn’t very fond of Scott and had insisted Myra to break up a lot of times.

She insisted Scott to drop her at the venue. She met her friend and was introduced to the bride’s sisters.

Beach Wedding Ceremony during Daytime

She felt very hesitant and alone. She would sit in the corner of the large hotel buffet room. Eat her food alone and just looked at people enjoying themselves.

She was in a relationship but not happy. She felt jealous of her friend and the people around her relishing food and dancing.

One of the bride’s sisters, Rina, was a divorcee and so had also come to the wedding alone. Mostly all guests had come with their partners and children.

Rina was a charming lady. She told Myra that as they both were alone they could give each other company.

Myra and Rina started hanging out more. They had their meals together. She participated in all the games arranged by the hosts. Myra was feeling good now. She felt lively after a long long time.

She started admiring Rina. A single lady, working in a corporate firm. Still enjoying her life alone and most importantly on her own terms.

Rina told her how her husband used to physically assault her and would rob her money. Myra’s body shivered at the horrifying incidents mentioned by Rina.

Woman Covering Her Face With Her Hand

Rina said she was happy alone and was working and saving for her future. She had even invested in a property and would shift her own house soon.

Myra was amazed to see Rina, so confident staying alone and fearless. Myra realized that being happy inside is the most important thing. 

Myra realized that as she was alone, she could meet Rina. And explore being alone. 

Myra started her morning walk alone listening to her favourite songs. Had her breakfast with Rina. She danced and took part in all the wedding functions happily. Myra found herself again.

Woman Open Arms While Closed-eyes Smiling Photo

Myra realized that being alone is “ok”. And that a relationship is not a solution to it. 

Myra, after the wedding, went back home of her own. She didn’t need Scott to pick her up. She decided to take a break from Scott and stayed alone in a rented flat. 

Man and Woman in Brown Leather Coat Standing on Brown Soil

Looking at her new zeal and confidence she could convince her parents that when she is in the right frame of mind she would get married, till that time she wanted to be happy and live her life on her own terms.

Being in touch with nature, acquiring a new skill or a hobby, will develop your self-confidence and make you feel happy and content.

A relationship will work only if you’re happy with yourself. Happiness adds itself to the relationship. 

Develop your relationship with yourself.

you will never be alone.

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