Fear Of Making Mistakes

Tina, a 35-year-old, married woman, stayed in Dubai, with her husband.

Her husband worked in a financial company, in Dubai. While Tina used to do her household chores. In her free time, she kept applying for jobs – online.

It wasn’t easy. Tina was erratophobia, she feared making mistakes. Anything she did, she would feel that she will end it into a mistake. This made her anxious and nervous.

She felt scared of stepping out of her house. In the evening, when her husband came from work, she would force him to go with her for grocery shopping. She feared crossing the road. With her husband by her side, she could reach the grocery store.

The items in the store were of different companies. She didn’t know which one to choose. Even a milk carton was difficult to choose. She would pick up one milk carton, look around the carton and keep it back. The fear of choosing the wrong milk carton, made her tremble. Her husband, frustrated at this behaviour, went through the list of items she had jotted down on a piece of paper. He shopped for all the items hastily. They rushed home, in quiet silence. Anger, evident on her husband’s face.

A few days later, she got a call for an interview. She was excited but soon became nervous. The mistakes she could make came rushing through her mind. She couldn’t go alone! Asking her husband to come along would be like adding fuel to fire.

Innumerable “What ifs” crossed her mind, while she thought of appearing for the interview on her own. She thought…

What if she took the incorrect route?

What if she took the wrong bus?

What if she missed the road crossing mark?

In these fearful thoughts, she decided to not go for the interview. The fear of making a mistake crept into her mind, and clogged it with “What ifs?”

The ray of hope was missing. She didn’t realize that she was missing an opportunity to explore Dubai. Visiting different places, malls, enjoying local cuisines and most importantly getting a job. All this was alien to her.

Their marriage was also taken for a ride because of her fear of making mistakes. Her husband would burst into anger with her nervousness. There were fights, harsh comments passed at each other, unspoken days and pain.

They planned of sitting down together and discussing their troubles. Her husband spoke first, about his problems and insecurities. Tina started about hers. She kept speaking. It was as if she was on a roller coaster ride. Going back and forth into her childhood memories to present day incidents. Her tears poured out, while she was talking about her fears.

Her husband realized that it was a “childhood incident”, that has instilled this fear of making mistakes. This fear is pricking her like a thorn. Tina’s father was a rich businessman. He had made the mistake of investing his finances in the wrong business. From then on, Tina’s family had seen dark times.

The fear of making mistakes could be so dark and hard made her stressful and indecisive. The memories of the mistake made by Tina’s father compounded into fear, which was, in turn, making her life miserable.

Her husband now understood her and supported her. He would make her cross the road alone, while he walked behind her. He would insist her to buy whatever grocery item she found attractive. He even helped her search for jobs online. This helped Tina develop her confidence levels.

She realized that doubts and mistakes are part and parcel of life. There will be lots of “trials and errors”, to overcome mistakes. But it will always show a ray of hope.